Questions to Ask Before Moving In Together

So you’ve met the love of your life and you feel like it’s time for you to move in together…  or is it?  Sure, it might help relieve financial stress and man, think about those home cooked dinners!  There are certainly a lot of pros, but there are some pretty major cons too.

Thing is, it is much easier to move in together than it is to move out later, so ask yourself these questions first and be honest with yourself and your situation.  It is always better to be safe than sorry.


Do You Have the Same Expectations?

This is a biggie.  Talk to your girlfriend about what kind of life plan she has in mind and see if it fits into your own goals.  This will save you both a lot of heartache later if it isn’t something you can compromise on.  An example is if she really wants children and you couldn’t imagine yourself in the fatherhood role.

Is Marriage on Your Mind?

The truth is that the vast majority of marriages end in divorce, especially if you are under the age of 23 when you do get married.  Most people choose to live together before marriage too.  It isn’t a terrible idea, but having a good idea about whether this person is someone you’d consider marrying can be a great hint towards whether the relationship might last.

Have You Had a Big Fight?

You might think having no fights means you have a fantastic relationship with no problems and that moving in together is a no brainer!  But let’s back up a bit.  Knowing how the two of you can handle a really major fight is really important in a relationship.  You need to see if the other person is willing to compromise and if they care enough to try and fix problems as they arise.

This doesn’t mean you should go out and start a fight, but it isn’t a terrible idea to not rush into things before you get the chance to see what might happen.  What if your very first fight results in a breakup?  Knowing whether you have the ability to work things out and bounce back to form an even stronger relationship is critical.

Do You Like her Family and Friends?

Oh man.  If she is close to her family and you don’t get along with them, you’re going to be in for a bumpy ride.  The same goes for her closest friendships.  They can be a great clue about your girlfriend’s true self that you may not have been introduced to just yet.  If you dislike them, you might want to tread carefully.

Are You Happy?

Another indicator of whether you should move in together is whether you both are happy before making the plunge.  You shouldn’t move in as a means to fix one another.  If you’re able to be happy and successful on your own, that means adding another happy and successful person to the mix can only improve your situation.

Also keep in mind that moving in together may mean giving up a great deal of your independence.  Are you ready to make that sacrifice?  Keep in mind that it’ll be a sacrifice that you’re making together.

If you’re able to be flexible and keep both you and your girlfriend’s best interests in mind, you might be ready.  Just be careful to set healthy boundaries and be honest with each other.